Unpacking the Roots of Anger: Understanding Its Origins and How to Manage It
By Melody Wright, LMFT
Our current blog series, “All About Anger,” focuses on providing information about anger, myths and facts associated with anger, where anger comes from, and tools and strategies to address anger as an emotion. Understanding where your anger comes from can help you learn more about yourself, and give you insight as to what strategies can help you address anger.
Understanding where your anger stems from may help to identify certain situations, feelings, or things that usually lead to you experiencing anger. These can be considered your triggers, or red flags, and can include the following:
People that get in the way of you achieving your goals
Situations that bring up sensitive topics from childhood (ie. someone talking about their child being bullied, not knowing you were also bullied as a child)
Daily life interactions can be annoying, but the presence of other stressors can make you angry, such as being stuck in traffic or having a family member be inconsiderate of your needs
Having negative or emotionally charged interactions with others, both in-person and online
Reading stories or posts about a topic that you strongly disagree with
As you may notice, these situations can occur on a daily basis, and generally are outside of our control. With all of these opportunities to become angry, what can we do to prevent it? Next time you’re feeling angry, try one of the following strategies to see if you can regulate your emotions:
Take a step back: If you are actively in a situation that is raising your anger levels, take a step back. Giving yourself a much-needed break from a situation or conversation that is making you angry can help you clear your head before choosing to continue a conversation, or removing yourself from a situation altogether.
Talk to someone you trust: Getting an outside perspective to a problem or issue that is making you angry can help you adjust your thought process and relieve negative feelings.
Take a walk: If it’s difficult for you to take a timeout from a situation without letting your mind wander back to the issue making you angry, redirecting your attention to physical exercise can help you ease your frustrations.
Make a joke: If you appreciate and use humor to break the tension, and the situation is appropriate, making a joke can help you release some of your anger.
We hope these strategies have widened your options in the way you usually address anger. Not all strategies may work for you, but we encourage you to try the ones that feel right based on your needs and preferences. In our next blog, you will learn more about some long-term options to help address anger. If you need to speak to someone today about how to address your anger, please schedule a free consultation.
