How to Nurture Your Child's Emotional Expression

By Melody Wright, LMFT 

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It’s the end of the school day and when your child walks through the front door a switch flips inside them. You notice them whining more, becoming snappy and maybe even a little mean. As a parent, it’s difficult to see your child struggle and the change in behavior might bring up confusion or concern. Unfortunately, children don’t have the language or coping skills to navigate emotions yet, which can make those emotions difficult to navigate for parents and children. One of the best ways to support them is by encouraging healthy emotional regulation and expression. In this blog, we will dive into how to recognize and help your child recognize their emotions and promote healthy emotional expression. 

Why is Healthy Emotional Expression Important?

Emotional regulation, which is the ability to manage and control our emotions, is so important because it empowers us to navigate life's challenges with resilience and maintain healthy relationships with ourselves and others. Think of a time you tried something new for the first time, I’m sure it was intimidating. You probably had a lot of thoughts and feelings which, more than likely, were scary when you experienced them. Big emotions are a lot like that for a little person. However, just like trying a new thing, the more you practice the easier it gets. Emotional regulation is very similar in that way. The more you practice expressing emotions in a safe and healthy manner, the easier it is to regulate.

But why is it important to start teaching your child at a young age to recognize and communicate their emotions? 

1. Emotional Intelligence - By recognizing their own feelings and emotions, they will be more aware of the emotions of others. It fosters empathy, and understanding, and is a crucial part of being able to develop secure relationships throughout their lives.
   

2. Supports Stress Management - Some adults push their emotions down and don’t process them which can lead to excess stress, anxiety, and depression. Emotional expression provides an outlet for stress and pent-up emotions. Teaching your child to express themselves can help them cope with life's challenges. School can often be a source of anxiety and stress for kids, if you would like to learn more about how to support your child through back-to-school anxiety, check out our blog - A Parent’s Guide: Helping Your Child Overcome Back-to-School Anxiety.
   

3. Healthy Communication - Children who can express their emotions are better equipped to communicate their needs and feelings with others, which can lead to more effective problem-solving and conflict resolution as they journey through life.
   

4. Self-acceptance - When you give your child permission to express their emotions, you validate their experience. They become aware that they are heard, seen, loved, and safe. Through this experience, they will develop a higher sense of self. 

What Are Ways to Encourage Healthy Emotional Expression?

1. Create a Safe Space - Give your child permission to express. Let them know that whatever they are feeling is completely okay. Validate their experience with non-judgment and active listening. You can also encourage problem-solving together. Ask open-ended questions to allow them to play an active role in their emotional management.
   

2. Teach Emotional Vocabulary - One of the most difficult things for a little person to do is put a name to their feelings because it’s all new to them. If you notice your child is sad because they dropped their ice cream, tell them “You’re sad because you dropped your ice cream”. This will help them begin to map out the reasons for their feelings. If you would like to learn more about communication check out our blog - The Communication Blueprint: Enhancing Communication and Emotional Connection.
   

3. Model Healthy Expression: You, as a parent, are the biggest role model in their lives. If they see and hear you express your emotions in a positive way they will model the same behavior over time.
   

4. Encourage Expressive Art - Because kids typically can’t identify the emotions or where they are coming from, encouraging them to show how they feel through art, music, or journaling for the older kids. 
   

5. Establish Boundaries - While it's important to encourage emotional expression, also establish appropriate boundaries. Let your child know that certain behaviors, like aggression, are not acceptable, but the feelings behind them can still be discussed.
   

6. Celebrate Positive Emotions - We have to remember to acknowledge the positive emotions too! Celebrate their achievements, big or small, and express pride and joy together.
   

7. Seek Professional Help If Needed - There is no shame in asking for help. If your child consistently struggles with intense emotions or has difficulty expressing them, consider seeking the guidance of a child therapist. 

Final reflections

Remember every child is unique, so every parenting journey is going to be different. Even though we provide tools for you to use, it’s okay to make them your own and figure out what works for you and your family. If you or your child need additional support, our child and teen therapists would be thrilled to meet you. If you’re in California, schedule a free consultation to get started. 

Affirmations for navigating emotions (update) 

1. I am a safe space for my child to express all their feelings.

2. My child’s feelings are valid, and I support them in finding the words to express them.

3. I am patient and understanding, knowing that emotional regulation is a skill that takes time to develop.

4. I encourage my child to use creative outlets like art and music to express their emotions.

5. It's okay for my child to feel big emotions; together, we will navigate them.

   Additional Resources (need resource list and revision below)

**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on parenting and emotional expression check out the books below…

1. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

2. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

3. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman

4. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Charles Fay and Foster Cline

5. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr. Laura Markham

6. The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

7. The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary

8. The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron

9. The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears by Lawrence J. Cohen

10. Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross