by Melody Wright, LMFT

Losing a loved one can have a strong impact on our lives and wellbeing, but not all losses look the same. Unfortunately, the pandemic has increased our likelihood of experiencing loss. It has also made many of us reevaluate our relationships with friends and loved ones. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a romantic relationship, or choosing to cut ties with a family member, loss can leave us experiencing feelings of grief that can affect our physical and emotional state. 

What is Grief?

“Grief is the intense emotional response to the pain of a loss. It is the reflection of a connection that has been broken. Most important, grief is an emotional, spiritual, and psychological journey to healing. There is wonder in the power of grief.” – David Kessler

You may have heard that grief occurs in stages. While this may be true, it does not mean that the grief process is linear or follows a certain pattern. Everyone experiences grief differently, but having an understanding of your feelings and acknowledging how your body is processing a loss may help you recognize if or when you need outside support to help you heal. 

The traditional stages of grief include the following emotions and actions: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Every person who experiences loss will not experience these stages in the same way. They may go back and forth between stages, or skip stages altogether. No matter what your grief journey looks like, know that there are resources and tools that can help you cope with your grief.  

What can i do to address my grief?

Experiencing a loss can be one of the hardest things a person will experience in their lifetime. While the emotions that come as a result of a loss can sometimes feel overwhelming, know that there are people and strategies that you can tap into when you feel like you need some extra support.

Below are some coping strategies to help support your grief process during COVID-19:

• Give yourself time and grace. The grief process is exactly that, a process. It will take time to address how you feel and what life changes you want to make, if any, as a result of a loss. Take time to honor your feelings associated with your grief, validate them, and understand why they are there. 

• Take care of yourself. Whether this means taking some time off of work to process your feelings, or adding more outside time to your evenings, we encourage you to listen to your body and give it what it needs to feel better. 

• Connect with others. Talking to a friend or joining a support group can create opportunities to connect with others that may help you on your grief journey. Having conversations with friends and peers that have gone through a similar experience may give you an opportunity to gain an outside perspective or hear words of consolation when experiencing loss. 

• Talk to a therapist. If you feel as though your grief is becoming too much for you to process on your own, or you are simply wanting additional support during your grief journey, connecting with a therapist may be a good option for you. A therapist can help provide you with additional tools and strategies that are tailored to your current needs.  

when is it time to seek outside help?

Sometimes the feelings of grief can become too much for someone to process on their own. If you or a loved one is experiencing any of the following, it may be time to seek outside help:

• Isolating or withdrawing yourself from others or your usual activities

• Feeling difficulty focusing on anything that isn’t related to the recent loss

• Feeling like you lack purpose or meaning in life

If you’re looking for more ways to work through pandemic-related grief, look out for our upcoming online workshop, Moving Through Grief: Processing Grief and Loss in a Multilayered Pandemic, to learn more about how to best support your grief process.